Over the past two years, it has been difficult for me to share my experience when I feel unwell and hopeless. I continue to share my experience to raise awareness and encourage compassion for those suffering with mental illness.
On March 23, 2020, I entered treatment for an eating disorder, depression, anxiety and PTSD exacerbated by the pandemic and the stalking I experienced for over 11 years.
On June 30, 2020, I left treatment too soon because I couldn’t afford to continue.
On March 15, 2021, I re-entered treatment for an eating disorder, depression, anxiety and PTSD exacerbated by another stalking incident.
On October 1, 2021, I lost my job of nearly 20 years because the organization could no longer hold my position while I was on medical leave.
On March 15, 2022, I remain heartbroken that I can't return to the position that was meaningful to me.
While this has been a challenging year of treatment and transitions, I am grateful for the support I've received and continue to receive from family, friends, and people who care.
Thank you to Ani DiFranco for "Revolutionary Love" - a song I listen to whenever I need inspiration to continue on my road of recovery.
Revolutionary Love
I will tend my anger
I will tend my grief
I will achieve safety
I will find relief
I'll show myself mercy
I'll show myself respect
Yes, and I'll decide when I'm ready
To forgive but not forget
And I will ask you, I'll ask you questions
And I will try, try to understand
And if you give me your story
I will hold it in my hands
Yeah, I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love
(Revolution)
(Revolution)
(Revolution)
And even if you hurt me
I will not shut down
No, you can't make me hate you
And carry that hate around
Yeah, I will see no stranger
Only parts of myself I don't yet know
Yes, and I'll see right through evil
To a wound, too scared to show
Yeah, I have the power to stay open
Oh, I have the power to be
The one that I've been waiting for
The one who sets me free
Yeah, I can bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I can bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I can bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love
(Revolution)
(Revolution)
(Revolution)
Oh, well I will tend my anger
Yes, I will tend my grief
I will achieve safety
Yeah, I will find relief
Yeah, I'll show myself mercy
I will show myself respect
Yes, and I'll decide when I'm ready
To forgive but not forget
And I'll ask you, ask you questions
And I will try, try to understand
And if you give me your story
I will hold it in my hands
And I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
Yes, I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love
Yes, I could bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I will bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
I can bring the love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love (the love, the love)
The revolutionary love
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